zombie prom

in college there was a night called zombie prom were everyone dressed up as a zombie and senior year i dressed up as a zombie in a short skirt which was very similar to my everyday dress with notably more fake blood and i was walking down the main path and there was this drunk guy with his arms around two girls and the two girls yelled, “darcie” and the drunk guy yelled, “who the fuck is darcie”

valentine’s day / 11 reptiles

it seems like a lot of people on tumblr are reblogging a screenshot of my craigslist ad: 11 REPTILES

if you would like to instruct me on how to capitalize on this, please email me at

darciewilder at gmail dot com




last night i woke up a little after 3 am and my bed was covered in blue light because i fall asleep to a 2001 vhs sag screener of brigid jones’s diary every night

every night i unintentionally watch about five or ten minutes more than the previous night

i am now up to [spoiler alert] brigid walking into hugh grant’s bathroom

i wake up to the blue light every morning, and often in the middle of the night because i wake up in the middle of the night a lot, and the vhs is only 97 minutes

my vhs automatically rewinds so every night i just press “on” and “play”

i woke up in the middle of the night because of this dream i had, and when i woke up i just focused on it so i would remember it. i was pretty scared.

in the dream i was in a courtyard at nyu near the nyu library, but south of the starbucks and right near washington square park. it was the setting of a viral video called “irate NYU film school graduate tears street performers to shreds”

the other night i woke up at 3am and restarted brigid jones’s diary and woke up again to the end scene around 530 am. it made sense but was significantly different than i expected

in the dream i was in the courtyard but the architecture was a little different, there was a small arch or something, like a castle, that i walked through to get to this cobblestone square, and there was a droney band like sweet love for planet earth playing it they were playing so loudly and it sounded so beautiful, and then these huge giraffes came in and were limping around, but they weren’t whole giraffes, but giant giraffes who couldn’t fit so they had to cut them apart, but they didn’t die and their different body parts lived on, but they didn’t heal so this huge giraffe ear wasnt bleeding but wasnt healed and was the size of a three story building (roughly), and different parts kept on coming into the courtyard. they were dancing kind of, more performing

i like that it is blue light because jennie once said that blue light is communication energy and implied it was positive energy

once i was on snack-duty for the end of year film screening in college and i convinced the other snack-responsible people that we should pool our money into getting as much shrimp we could afford

we got six pounds of shrimp but they insisted we get other snacks, so we got 2 shitty bags of pretzels and 2 shitty bags of cookies

we also got a birthday cake because the second day of the screening fell on my birthday

on the first day of the screening we had the pounds of shrimp next to the pretzels and i remember it being a hit

a few days later a classmate of mine confided in me that her mom only ate the pretzels because she is allergic to shellfish, but was driving home and began to throw up all over her dashboard because of cross contamination.

i was also on “clean up” duty to avoid projection duty, so immediately after eating the birthday cake i began sweeping, leading an upperclassmen to call me “Cinderella”

i guess “confide” is too strong a word because it was not specifically a secret, more a recounting, but “confided” sounds good in the sentence i feel